MAKING THE BEST OF
A DEAD ASS SITUATION
( original source of story unknown )
A city boy named Kenny moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for
$100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next morning,
however, the farmer drove up to Kenny’s place and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad
news. Last night the donkey died."
Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny said, "OK then, just unload the donkey."
The farmer asked, "What are ya gonna do with him?"
Kenny replied, "I'm going to raffle him off."
The farmer replied, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny retorted, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "Whatever happened with that
dead donkey?"
Kenny responded, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and
made a profit of $898.00."
“What?” said the farmer, "Didn't anyone complain?
“No”, said Kenny," no one except for the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars
back."
A few years later the farmer, who had worked 14-18 hour days for most of his life, was
forced off of his third-generation family farm by ruthless lawyers representing land investments of The Arizona Baptist
Charitable Foundation and their auditor, Arthur Anderson. A couple of weeks after that, he was
found dead in the alley in back of a liquor store and was buried on donated soil in a
government-supplied plywood casket. He was assumed to be a lazy and worthless bum and thus, there
was no obituary notice in the local press.
It is rumored that Kenny, who naturally had demanded the dead donkey back in exchange for
refunding the $2 winning raffle ticket, successfully raffled off the same dead Donkey in one or
more city in 48 of the 50 United States, after which, he became a well-respected investment
banker, Wall Street guru of renown and presidential advisor. He eventually was appointed
chairman of the board for Enron Corporation and retired rich and famous, howbeit, in the wake
of a somewhat permanently soiled government-supplied reputation. He is now assumed to be a
lazy and worthless bum whose obituary has already been written several times over in the national press
media.
It seems that someone named Solomon once commented that the eventual lot of the rich man
and the poor man are but the same. It also seems that someone else in that same general
collection of ancient writings claimed that the eventual lot of a rich man might even be a
little less desirable and not to mention, a whole lot warmer. Now who in their right
mind would ever for one goddamn minute believe such an anti-capitalistic fairytale as that?
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