And the rest of the earth apparently as an afterthought And on the second day he divided the waters From the superior whiskey we’ve so often bought On the third day God created trees and fine herbs From which temptation’s apple so readily grew And on the fourth day he created the housefly For it seems he had nothing much better to do On the fifth day God created weeds and the Irish So we could curse him freely without hurting our conscience And for some reason he created fruits and vegetables Which forever in our heart has made absolutely no sense And on the sixth day, God created woman From our tired abdomen on to a pain in the rear-end But on the seventh day he fashioned that leaf called tobacco. . . And now the Scotsman believes that God is his friend
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